A male doctor was in his office when a woman walked in. “Doctor, I’m here for my examination,” she said. “I think I’m developing a rash on my chest.”
The doctor told her to disrobe and put on the hospital gown. She did as was told.
It was only then that the doctor noticed a strange letter-shaped imprint upon the woman’s skin.
“Miss,” he said, “It looks like you have what appears to be the letter ‘I’ chafed into your chest.”
“Oh, that?” she cooed. “That’s probably from my boyfriend. He’s a great guy, but he has this little – shall we say – thing that he likes to do. He went to college at Illinois, and he’s very proud of attending there. So much so, that he when we are intimate, well, he likes to wear his old college varsity sweater. You know, the kind that has the big letter on the front?”
“Oh, that makes sense,” the doctor said. “Well, you seem healthy enough, outside of that strange letter-shaped abrasion. I’ll prescribe some cream and that should take care of the skin tenderness.”
The woman thanked the doctor, then dressed and left.
A few weeks later, the woman returned to the doctor’s office. “I may need some more of that cream you prescribed,” she said.
The doctor told her to disrobe. “This is a prescription cream, I have to make sure you still have that rash.”
She undressed and donned the hospital gown.
At this point, the doctor noticed that there was another rash on the woman’s body. But this time, it was shaped like the letter “S”.
“You’ve developed a new type of rash,” he said to her.
“Oh, the ‘S’,” she bubbled. “Well, I have to tell you, my old guy and I broke up, and I’ve been dating this hot stud. But again, he’s got that same weird fetish as my previous guy. When we’re in bed together, he likes to wear his college sweater. Said he went to Siena, and he’s proud of his alma mater.”
The doctor noted the rash. “Yes, you’ll need some more cream. I’ll prescribe it. Let’s check back in a few weeks.”
A few weeks later, the woman returned. “Doctor, I’ll need some more of that salve, if you have it.
The doctor handed her the hospital gown. She changed her clothes.
It was then that the doctor noticed another rash on the woman’s front. This time, the rash was shaped like the letter “O”.
“Did you get another boyfriend?” the doctor asked.
“I did,” she giggled.
“And let me guess, he has that same fetish where he has to wear his old varsity sweater when you two are in bed together?”
“Yes, I seem to always fall for these college alumni. He graduated from Oregon.”
The doctor examined the O-shaped rash. “You’ll need more lotion. Check back with me in a few weeks.”
And a few weeks later, the woman returned.
The doctor instructed her to disrobe. She did as was told.
It was then that the doctor noticed another rash, this time shaped like the letter M.
“Let me guess,” the doctor said. “Another boyfriend?”
“Yes,” the woman smiled. “And he’s a stud.”
“And he’s got that kink where he has to wear his college sweater when you two make love?”
“All the time. Every time. He’s hot, but that sweater just keeps chafing into my skin.”
“Let me guess. He went to Michigan, right?”
“No.”
“He went to Minnesota, right?”
“No, he did not.”
“Where did he go to college?”
“Wisconsin,” she said.
Chuck The Writer 